WELCOME TO YOUR HYPEROMNI TRANSGLOBAL UNICORP VENDASCRIBE™ INTERACTIVE STORY CONSTRUCTION TERMINAL.
PRESS THE ‘ANY’ KEY TO BEGIN.

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GREETINGS CITIZEN! WELCOME TO THIS VENDASCRIBE™ INTERACTIVE STORY CONSTRUCTION TERMINAL, ANOTHER FINE PRODUCT OF HYPEROMNI TRANSGLOBAL UNICORP (HEREAFTER HTU), A FULLY-OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF HYPNOVOYER@HOTMAIL.COM. ALL DOMESTIC, FOREIGN AND INTERPLANETARY RIGHTS RESERVED. IF YOU FIND YOUR VENDASCRIBE™ AUTHORING EXPERIENCE TO BE A PLEASURABLE ONE, PLEASE CONSIDER UTILIZING HTU'S OTHER FINE INTERACTIVE CULTURAL SERVICES, AVAILABLE IN BOTH A CONVENIENT HOME-TERMINAL HTUNET.COM VERSION, AND PUBLIC-ACCESS HTU INTERACTIVE CULTURAL KIOSKS, TO BE FOUND IN YOUR LOCAL HTU MALL, HTU LIBRARY, HTU SCHOOL, HTU COURTHOUSE OR HTU CORRECTIONAL FACILITY. (HTUNET.COM IS A FULLY OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF HTU.)

HYPEROMNI TRANSGLOBAL UNICORP:
“YOU ARE US, WE ARE YOU.”™

WOULD YOU LIKE TO 1. RECEIVE MORE INFORMATION ON HTU’S OTHER INTERACTIVE CULTURAL SERVICES, OR 2. PROCEED WITH YOUR USE OF THIS HTU VENDASCRIBE™ TERMINAL. PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘2’: TO PROCEED WITH YOUR USE OF THIS HTU VENDASCRIBE™ TERMINAL. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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PLEASE SELECT YOUR MEDIUM OF HTU VENDASCRIBE™ PAYMENT FROM THE FOLLOWING LIST BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’ :

1. CASH (NOTE: AMERICAN, CANADIAN, JAPANESE, HTUSCRIPT ACCEPTED)
2. CREDIT CARD (NOTE: VISA, MC, DISCOVER, AMEX, HTUCARD ACCEPTED)
3. PERSONAL CHECK (NOTE: U.S. AND HTU BANKS ONLY. REQUIRES FINGERPRINT SCAN)
4. MONEY ORDER (NOTE: U.S. POSTAL SERVICE AND HTU MONEY ORDERS ONLY.)
5. BLOOD/DNA DONATION (NOTE: DONATION ACCEPTANCE IS SUBJECT TO ON-SITE TESTING AND VERIFICATION OF SUPPLIED SAMPLE. TESTS PREFORMED BY HTU REMOTELABS INC., A FULLY-OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF HTU.)

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘1’: CASH. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’)

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PLEASE INSERT BILL(S)/COIN(S) IN THE PROVIDED SLOT(S), NOW ILLUMINATED, OF YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ TERMINAL. THE CURRENT CHARGE FOR ONE (1) SESSION OF HTU VENDASCRIBE™ SERVICES IS $5.00/C$7.50/¥400/H2.745. CHARGES ADJUSTED QUARTER-HOURLY BY HTUBROKERS, INC., A FULLY-OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF HTU. NO CHANGE OR REFUNDS GIVEN. NO WARRANTY OR GUARANTEES STATED OR IMPLIED.

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THANK YOU; CASH PAYMENT HAS BEEN VERIFIED AND ACCEPTED. YOU MAY NOW 1. READ DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS ON THE USE OF HTU VENDASCRIBE™, 2. START A NEW HTU VENDASCRIBE™ STORY. OR 3. ACCESS AN UNIFINISHED HTU VENDASCRIBE™ STORY WHICH YOU HAVE ALREADY STORED ON FILE WITH HTU VENDASCRIBE™. PROCEED BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED '2': TO BEGIN A NEW STORY. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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IF AT ANY TIME DURING YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ SESSION YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, PLEASE PRESS ‘?’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE STORY GENRES, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE STORY CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED STORY, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE STORY GENRES. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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AVAILABLE HTU VENDASCRIBE™ STORY GENRES:

1. ADVENTURE 8. HORROR 15. SCIENCE FICTION
2. BIOGRAPHICAL 9. HUMOROUS 16. SPORTS
3. CHILDREN'S 10. MORALISTIC 17. STAR TREK™
4. DISNEY™ 11. MUCKRAKING 18. THRILLER
5. DETECTIVE 12. NATURE 19. WAR
6. FANTASY 13. PORNOGRAPHIC 20. WESTERN
7. HISTORICAL 14. RELIGIOUS

PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED GENRE BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED '13': PORNOGRAPHIC. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)
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WARNING

IN FULL COMPLIANCE WITH THE INTERACTIVE CULTURAL SERVICE DECENCY ACT, BEFORE YOU CAN PROCEED WITH THIS HTU VENDASCRIBE™ SESSION, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO CONFIRM THAT YOU ARE 1. OF THE PHYSICAL AGE OF TWENTY ONE (21) YEARS OR OLDER AND 2. NOT MORALLY OFFENDED BY THE READING AND/OR WRITING OF EROTIC AND/OR EXPLICIT MATERIAL. PLEASE PLACE THE TIP OF YOUR RIGHT INDEX FINGER ON THE PROVIDED SENSOR, NOW ILLUMINATED, LOCATED ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD. YOUR IDENTITY, AGE AND REGISTERED MORAL STANCE WILL BE CONFIRMED WITH THE CENTRAL HTU CONSUMER DATABASE. (DATABASE MAINTAINED BY HTU DATASTORAGE, INC., A FULLY-OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF HTU.)

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THANK YOU. YOUR FINGERPRINT SAMPLE IS BEING PROCESSED. PLEASE STAND BY.
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YOUR IDENTITY, AGE AND MORAL STANCE CONFIRMED. YOU ARE CLEARED TO WRITE IN THE HTU VENDASCRIBE™ PORNOGRAPHIC STORY GENRE. THIS CLEARENCE IS CONDITIONAL UPON YOUR FUTURE ETHICAL, LEGAL AND MORAL BEHAVIOR. HTU RESERVES THE RIGHT TO WITHDRAW SAID CLEARANCE, WITHOUT WARNING, AT ANY TIME FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER.

IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE PORNOGRAPHIC STORY SUB-CATAGORIES, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE SUB-CATAGORY CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED PORNOGRAPHIC STORY-TYPE, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTONS ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE PORNOGRAPHIC STORY SUB-CATAGORIES. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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AVAILABLE PORNOGRAPHIC STORY SUB-CATAGORIES:

  1. BISEXUAL
  2. FETISH
  3. GROUP
  4. HETEROSEXUAL
  5. INTERSPECIES
  6. SAME-SEX FEMALE
  7. SAME-SEX MALE
PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED SUB-CATAGORY BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘2’: FETISH. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE FETISH SUB-CATAGORIES, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE SUB-CATAGORY CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED PORNOGRAPHIC FETISH STORY-TYPE, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘41’: MIMES. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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SELECTION REJECTED.
IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE FETISH SUB-CATAGORIES, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE SUB-CATAGORY CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED PORNOGRAPHIC FETISH STORY-TYPE, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘42’: MIND CONTROL. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE MIND CONTROL SUB-CATAGORIES, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE SUB-CATAGORY CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED MIND CONTROL STORY-TYPE, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE MIND CONTROL STORY SUB-CATAGORIES. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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AVAILABLE MIND CONTROL STORY SUB-CATAGORIES:

  1. EVERYONE-DOMINATE
  2. EXTRADIMENSIONAL-DOMINATE
  3. EXTRATERRESTRIAL-DOMINATE
  4. FEMALE-DOMINATE
  5. MALE-DOMINATE
  6. NO ONE-DOMINATE
  7. SUPERVILLAIN-DOMINATE
  8. SUPERVILLAINESS-DOMINATE

PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED SELECTION NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED '5': MALE-DOMINATE. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE MALE DOMINATE MIND CONTROL SUB-CATAGORIES, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE SUB-CATAGORY CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED MALE DOMINATE MIND CONTROL STORY-TYPE, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE MALE DOMINATE MIND CONTROL STORY SUB-CATAGORIES. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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AVAILABLE MALE-DOMINATE MIND CONTROL STORY SUB-CATAGORIES:

  1. BRAINWASHING
  2. CONSENTUAL
  3. MOSTLY CONSENTUAL
  4. MOSTLY NONCONSENTUAL
  5. NONCONSENTUAL
  6. SLIGHTLY CONSENTUAL
  7. SLIGHTLY NONCONSENTUAL
  8. THERAPUTIC

PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED SELECTION NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘5’: NONCONSENTUAL. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)
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WELCOME TO YOUR NEW MALE-DOMINATE NONCONSENTUAL MIND CONTROL FETISH PORNOGRAPHIC STORY. YOU WILL NOW BE ASKED A SERIES OF QUESTIONS, WHICH WILL ALLOW YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ TERMINAL TO HELP YOU WRITE YOUR STORY. WHEN YOU ARE READY TO PROCEED, PRESS THE ‘END’ KEY, WHICH HAS NOW BEEN ILLUMINATED.

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QUESTION #1: WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR STORY’S MALE MIND CONTROLLER? IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE MALE MIND CONTROLLER NAMES PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED MALE MIND CONTROLLER NAME, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘13’: EDGAR. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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QUESTION #2: WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR STORY’S FEMALE SUBJECT? IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE FEMALE SUBJECT NAMES, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED FEMALE SUBJECT NAME, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE FEMALE SUBJECT NAMES. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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AVAILABLE FEMALE SUBJECT NAMES:

1. CANDY 8. JILL 15. NINA 22. SUZANNA
2. CINDI 9. JULIE 16. OLIVA 23. YVETTE
3. DAWN 10. MARCIA 17. PAMELA 24. ZARA
4. DOROTHY 11. MARIA 18. TANYA
5. ERIKA 12. MARY ANN 19. TINA
6. GINGER 13. MELISSA 20. SANDRA
7. JANE 14. MELODY 21. SELENA

PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED FEMALE SUBJECT NAME BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘23’: YVETTE. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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QUESTION #3A: WHAT IS -YVETTE’S- PHYSICAL APPEARENCE? IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF POSSIBLE APPEARENCES, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED APPEARENCE, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE PHYSICAL APPEARENCES FOR -YVETTE-. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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POSSIBLE PHYSICAL APPEARENCES FOR -YVETTE-:

  1. AFRICAN
  2. ASIAN
  3. BLONDE
  4. BRUNETTE
  5. LATINA (NEW!)
  6. REDHEAD

PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED PHYSICAL APPEARANCE FOR -YVETTE- BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘4’: BRUNETTE. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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QUESTION #3B: WHAT IS -YVETTE’S- BREAST SIZE? IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF POSSIBLE APPEARENCES, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED BREAST SIZE, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE BREAST SIZES FOR -YVETTE-. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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POSSIBLE BREAST SIZES FOR -YVETTE-:

  1. BIG
  2. REALLY BIG
  3. REALLY REALLY BIG

PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED BREAST SIZE FOR -YVETTE- BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘2’: REALLY BIG. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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QUESTION #4: WHAT IS THE MIND CONTROL METHOD USED IN THE STORY BY -EDGAR- ON -YVETTE-? IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE MIND CONTROL METHODS, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED MIND CONTROL METHOD, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE MIND CONTROL METHODS. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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AVAILABLE MALE-DOMINATE NONCONSENTUAL MIND CONTROL METHODS:

  1. BLOW TO -EDGAR’S- HEAD CAUSING MENTAL ENHANCEMENT.
  2. BLOW TO -YVETTE’S- HEAD CAUSING PLIABLE AMNESIA.
  3. DIRECTION OF -YVETTE’S- ATTENTION TO INCIDENTALLY HYPNOTIC NATURAL OR MAN-MADE PHEONOMENOM.
  4. GRATEFUL ALIEN OR EXTRADIMENSIONAL BEING EFFECTS MENTAL ENHANCEMENT OF -EDGAR-.
  5. MIND CONTROLLING ABILITY INSTALLED IN -EDGAR- VIA COVERT GOVERNMENT EXPERIMENT.
  6. MIND CONTROLLING DEVICE BUILT IN LABORATORY BY -EDGAR-.
  7. MIND CONTROLLING DEVICE STOLEN FROM LABORATORY BY -EDGAR-.
  8. MYSTERIOUS BUT HIGHLY INSTRUCTIVE MIND CONTROL COMPUTER PROGRAM FOUND AND APPLIED BY -EDGAR-.
  9. MYSTERIOUS BUT HIGHLY INSTRUCTIVE MIND CONTROL INSTRUCTION BOOK FOUND AND APPLIED BY -EDGAR-.
  10. NATURAL MIND CONTROL TALENT AVAILABLE TO -EDGAR- FROM BIRTH.
  11. NATURAL MIND CONTROL TALENT MANIFESTS ITSELF IN -EDGAR- WITH THE ARRIVAL OF PUBERTY.
  12. PHEROMONE DRUG DEVELOPED IN LABORATORY BY -EDGAR-.
  13. PHEROMONE DRUG STOLEN FROM LABORATORY BY -EDGAR-.
  14. SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES ATTACHED TO -VYETTE’S- FAVORITE AUDIO TAPE.
  15. SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES ATTACHED TO -VYETTE’S- FAVORITE VIDEO TAPE.
  16. SPINNING CRYSTAL-AND-CHAIN.
  17. SPINNING DISK IMPRINTED WITH MULTICOLORED SPIRAL.
  18. SPINNING GOLDEN POCKETWATCH.
  19. TALKING TO -VYETTE- IN A BORING FASHION.

PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED MALE-DOMINATE NONCONSENTUAL MIND CONTROL METHOD BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘4’: GRATEFUL ALIEN OR EXTRADIMENSIONAL BEING EFFECTS MENTAL ENHANCEMENT OF -EDGAR-. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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QUESTION #5: WHAT IS -EDGAR’S- OCCUPATION? IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE OCCUPATIONS, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED OCCUPATION, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE OCCUPATIONS FOR -EDGAR-. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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AVAILABLE OCCUPATIONS FOR -EDGAR-:

  1. COLLEGE STUDENT
  2. HYPNOTHERAPIST
  3. HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL
  4. HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER
  5. JOBLESS LOSER
  6. MEDICAL DOCTOR
  7. NINE-TO-FIVE OFFICE DRONE
  8. SCIENTIST
  9. SPY
  10. TEENAGER
  11. TREE SURGEON

PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED NUMBER NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘5’: NINE-TO-FIVE OFFICE DRONE. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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QUESTION #6: WHAT IS -YVETTE’S- RELATIONSHIP TO -EDGAR-? IF YOU WISH TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE RELATIONSHIPS, PRESS ‘Y’, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’. IF YOU KNOW THE CODE FOR YOUR DESIRED RELATIONSHIP, ENTER IT NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON(S) ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘Y’: TO VIEW A LIST OF AVAILABLE RELATIONSHIPS OF -YVETTE- TO -EDGAR-. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)

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AVAILABLE RELATIONSHIPS OF -YVETTE- TO -EDGAR-:

  1. CASUAL ACQUAINTANCE WHO ‘JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS’
  2. CRUEL BOSS
  3. FEMINIST UNDERLING
  4. FRIGID GIRLFRIEND
  5. FRIGID WIFE
  6. SNOOTY CO-WORKER
  7. TOTAL STRANGER PICKED OFF STREET AT RANDOM

PLEASE ENTER THE DESIRED NUMBER NOW BY PRESSING THE CORRESPONDING NUMBER BUTTON ON YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ KEYBOARD, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.

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YOU HAVE SELECTED ‘6’: SNOOTY CO-WORKER. IS THIS CORRECT? (PRESS Y/N, FOLLOWED BY ‘ANY’.)
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PLEASE STAND BY. YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ INTERACTIVE STORY IS NOW BEING FINISHED.
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YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ INTERACTIVE STORY IS NOW FINISHED. ENJOY, AND THANK YOU FOR USING HTU VENDASCRIBE™!

It all started that day in the desert with the strange lights. Edgar was driving back to the main office from an unsuccessful business meeting in Albuquerque and fantasizing once again about his snooty co-worker in the office, Yvette. Yvette was a stunning brunette, with really big breasts. She’d walk around the office all day in her tight little numbers, but she wouldn’t give Edgar the time of day. It sometimes felt like Edgar was going to explode as he watched her from his desk, out of the corner of his eyes. Just as he was going over his favorite fantasy again, the one where he and Yvette were in the copy room and she suddenly turned to him and ripped off...

His car died and rolled to a stop. Edgar was too hot and tired and sweaty to even curse. He just got out and walked around to open the hood and peer inside, hoping to figure out what had caused the car to stop moving.

The strange lights came from the east, flashing over the horizon and then directly overhead. Edgar stared up at them, baffled. He tried to figure out what they were, and failed. Then one of the lights stopped flying overhead and came down to rest on the road next to his car. It was no longer a light, but a silver circular object several feet across, with four legs and a pair of antenna mounted on the domed center part.

Edgar wasn’t sure, but he suspected it was a flying saucer. It opened, and an alien got out. It walked over to him and spoke.

“Greetings puny human. My designation is Grox from the planet Kozbine in the Andromada Galaxy. I require your assistance.”

“You require my assistance?”

“Yes. My flying saucer is out of fuel. Do you have any greebdorb?”

“Greebdorb?”

“I believe you call it ‘paper’ in your primitive tongue-based language. We have since evolved to higher things.”

“Yes. In the car.” Edgar got some paper out of the car and gave it to the alien. The alien was pleased.

“Thank you puny human. As a reward, you now have the ability to make other humans do whatever you want. Use my gift wisely.” It walked back to the flying saucer, got in, and flew away. Edgar watched it go. Then his car started up again. He got back in and drove away, wondering what the alien had meant about a reward.

Just as he was driving back into town, he had to stop at a stoplight. Suddenly, a carjacker got in the car and said “This is a carjacking. Get out.”

Edgar got mad.

“No! You get out!”

The carjacker got out of the car and ran off.

“Hot damn!” said Edgar. “Maybe what that alien said is true! I should go try it on someone else!” He thought for a moment, and had an idea. “I know, I’ll try it on Yvette, at work!” He drove to work, planning.

Yvette was waiting for him at work, walking around in her tight little number, the red one that he really liked it. He walked up to her and spoke.

“Take it off, baby!”

“Ooh, Edgar!” Her eyes lit up and she started to r

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YOUR HTU VENDASCRIBE™ INTERACTIVE STORY SESSION HAS TIMED OUT. THANK YOU FOR USING HTU VENDASCRIBE™. HAVE A PRODUCTIVE DAY.

WELCOME TO YOUR HYPEROMNI TRANSGOBAL UNICORP VENDASCRIBE™ INTERACTIVE STORY CONSTRUCTION TERMINAL.
PRESS THE ‘ANY’ KEY TO BEGIN.
CLICK HERE TO GET OUT OF HERE.